


no longer

by silvertaels



Series: let my ships rise 2k17 [6]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drabble, M/M, broken!doil, platonic!johnil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21984370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertaels/pseuds/silvertaels
Summary: He was just... empty. And he'd thought he was okay.But unlike his clouded vision, it was clear as day that he wasn't.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Moon Taeil, Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: let my ships rise 2k17 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/710709
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	no longer

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by Epik High's 1 Minute 1 Second, has absolutely nothing to do with NCT127's No Longer

A shot, and another, and another, and another. Then Taeil takes another shot, expecting someone to nag at him, but the annoying voice never comes. _This isn't right-_ He starts to panic. No matter how much he complained about the nagging, it made him feel at ease. It made him feel _safe._ And right now, he needs to hear that voice before his panic takes control, and the soju bottle was _not cooperating_! Why wasn't it spitting out any soju?!

It's only when he downs the last shot, slamming the shot glass on the table, that the person sitting across him speaks up.

"Hyung, I know I said I'll let you drink, but I really don't want to have to call the ambulance."

_Oh._ Right. Of course. He was with Youngho.

Not _him_. Not anymore.

And just like that, tears were streaming down Taeil's face and no matter how much Youngho tried to comfort him, it wouldn't stop. He only managed to weakly nod when Youngho offered to send him home.

He was okay. Or at least, he _thought_ he'd been okay. He didn't know what to feel, and he didn't shed as much as one tear since the breakup. He wasn't sad, he wasn't angry, and he wasn't happy. He was just... empty. And he'd thought he was okay.

But unlike his clouded vision, it was clear as day that he wasn't.

The car smells like the coffee Youngho had grabbed on the way after work. That wasn't right. Dongyoung never drank coffee. His car was always lavender scented. He always nagged at Taeil for endangering them both despite the pink blush that paints his face, whenever Taeil ran his fingers over Dongyoung's on the gear stick.

Dongyoung never had to ask him which floor, or for his apartment's passcode. He always knew everything. And he'd never tuck a drunk Taeil in without mumbling and grumbling, and threatening to abandon Taeil on the streets the next time he gets dead drunk.

Dongyoung would never let Taeil wake up to a cold, empty room the next morning. He would always drape himself over Taeil like a burrito wrap no matter how much Taeil reeked of alcohol, his steady, warm breaths tickling Taeil's neck. It's so real - Taeil can feel the warmth, the breaths, and he can even hear Dongyoung whining whenever he tries to move.

The front door clicks and beeps.

The only thing Taeil can feel is the emptiness next to him, and the only thing he hears is his own ragged breathing.

All along he'd thought he was fine, but he just wasn't. He was seeing things and hearing things that he couldn't even hide from, couldn't even block out.

He can't trust himself anymore, especially not when he thinks he hears more beeping from the front door, and sees a familiar figure in front of him, before he passes out for the night.

-

**8:16 AM**  
**From: Youngho**

Feeling okay today?

**9:47 AM**  
**To: Youngho**

yea, thanks for the painkillers

**9:51 AM**  
**From: Youngho**

Painkillers?

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at writing angst, but I love angst so here we are. Out of all my ships, doil is the one that suits angst the most (at least to me). The whole back story is that they care for and love each other but dy just doens't see taeil as a romantic partner (anymore) and taeil has been like "yea I understand haha no problem" but then all hell breaks loose when he gets drunk. I know a good story would've hinted to it but I rly wanted to keep it short, if not I would've never posted this lmao


End file.
